Diary of Sarah Sanders

Writings by and collected by Sarah Sanders.

Stop reading my diary, Herial, Wylan'la, Salissa.

I mean, really. Am I that interesting?

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Update

Dreams getting worse. Sal's moved in. Neserath is an arse who doesn't appreciate anything he is given, and acts like a child when people stop paying attention. Wyl's fine. Oldmy isn't. I'm not.

I see a man in the dreams. Cloth over his face. He looks, yet never sees. I must be going mad.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Well, that was unpleasant.

I fought several hundred Abberations, saved Vippin, Nives and practically half of Grond, and stirred a pot of goo-stew.

I also met some of the Gray Druids. New contacts, work to do.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

And I may well end,

It seems telling Umieri to threaten Vippin for me backfired. He demands he sees me, or he will start harming the forest. I should have anticipated this...

Dumb of me. If someone that isn't me is reading this, and I am dead or missing, Vippin is the reason. Part of me thinks Vince was lying about kidnapping Wylan'la in his stead, and believing in a madman, even in such a way, is my unishment.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Long time, but, improvements.

It has been a long, long time since I opened this book. Probably for the best. I've improved a lot, since. Me and Kaleb completely broke off (although he still pines for me), me and Herial got together, and new issues have come up.

Mistica. What started out as people disliking the Hin unraveled, and became a terror-group. They've kidnapped, murdered, sold to slavery and done all manner of things which have earned my wrath. I plan to dispose of them, if I get the chance.

Sabbath. He's Sabbath. I'm not sure how to kill him, entirely, but I'll start at the neck and get creative.

Wyl has been unfortunately tied to both. Mistica coerced her into paying gold for their mistakes, and Sabbath's attacked her and others close. To make matters worse, Benwick has put her on trial for doing more than them in the pursuit of peace and freedom. Hypocrites. She deals with what they won't, so that they get an easier life.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Events.

Herial has made me move away from the Grove. Smart. I'm calming down. Stress is low. Happiness is improving. I've cried, wailed, sobbed and all manner of such, with him.

He's told me about his past, and I about mine. He's helped me let out my true fears. Be done with my paranoia. Ended my issues.

I am not twenty-nine. Nobody wished me another. I'm just a year closer to that damned day. If I can't cure it, I can only embrace it.

Kaleb and I are on a break. I was going too fast. Part of my trust problem. I didn't want to lose him. I think he'll move on, before I'm ready. So long as he's happy. I loved him, and if this ruins it, the irony will crush me.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Dear Sarah

This whole letter-writing business is new to me, so bear with me. I was visiting the Grove, and thought I should leave a message for you since either you weren't awake, or you just weren't here. Wondering how you've been, mainly; we haven't been able to sit down and talk for awhile. At least, not with both of us in good shape and me not falling asleep on the floor.

I've been alright... Alot of new things and old things and just Things colliding in life. I've apparently become Cordor's matchmaker and miracle-worker. Unsurprising, since I'm the only permanent resident who is a healer. The city is a chaotic flock to take care of- I'm beginning to worry about whether or not I can really handle it.

Next new thing... I'm not sure how to word it, exactly. But... *Here, several different sentence beginners of "Me and Jared did", "Jared and I had", so on and so forth have been scratched out* ... We slept together in the same bed. Like in the way you and Zy'dre did. I cried, actually, when I woke up. Trying to think of how to tell you...

I asked him, though. I mean, he waited for me to say I was ready. Yeah. Erm... Okay. Well. This letter's getting longer than I thought it would be. Just try to drop by and see me, or leave a message if I'm not home. I won't be for a few days after I leave the grove now- I'm meditating in a hidden nook out in Minmir. So.. Until next we meet, sister, with love,

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Wylan'la Sasema       

Zy'dre

Zy'dre went insane when he heard about me and Kaleb. I found him beating Siake to a pulp. I said a lot of things I regret, to try and calm him. When he made himself Alpha, my senses dulled. Wolfbond won.

Kaleb hates him now. Even more. This is bad.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Kaleb, Vippin, Colt and Siake.

Me and Kaleb are doing well. But, not long ago, Vippin the Tyrant visited me. He wanted to deal, but things got in the way before he could get to the point. Apparantly, he almost hurt Salissa, and he did kill an assassin in my room.

Siake has gone too far. She's tortured, seduced and corrupted people to her will. She had an Elf calling her 'Mistress' and obeying her every word. I told Colt, but, even when he heard them, saw them, he didn't care.

Colt then proceeded to claim I worked for Vippin, that I helped Underdark armies, that I wished harm upon the Grove. I don't blame him for being suspicious, but...it's insulting...Vippin hurt me, a lot, and I've opposed him, a lot. Why would I ever work for such a fiend?

I miss Wyl.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Kaleb and I.

Am I weird for being so easy-going? He pleasured another woman, and I didn't do anything that bad. I guess it was my fault, in some ways.

But, more importantly, I visited his place, and for the first time in over a year, I had sex. It felt different, with a human, with a normal refraction time. I made him go first, then later wedid it normally, and I did.

I don't know how to feel about this. Hopefully he won't cheat on me, accidentally or not, again. I mean, I shouldn't have told him I was okay with him looking, and maybe I should have phrased it all differently, but I just don't know what I could, or should, do.

I think I'm in love. Confusion is love.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Month 2, Day 18.

Herial was right. Within minutes of him saying I would find someone, Kaleb and I talked, and I think we're going in that direction together. I like Kaleb, and we have feelings for each other, so I think we'll do well together.

Dusty, Amelia, Mal and Jo all agreed. Oldmy didn't, but she is not one to agree with those things. Looks like my life might brighten up soon.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Is it so wrong?

Under skin rests a heart, that beats the same, dies the same. Under the skull plots a mind, that thinks the same, dies the same.

The 'race', the 'religion', the 'this', the 'that'. What does it matter, in the start, the end? We all come from one, and end as one.

What we do is what we do, what we are is not. Anything can do as it wants first, what it's blood and belief wants second.

But, perhaps I'm mad. But, perhaps we're mad. But, perhaps we're all as mad, to each other.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders             

What's a smile?

A smile is more to some than others. To me, a smile is a front, what someone wishes to represent. To others, a smile is more.

To a tearful widow, a smile is in comfort. A Begger, sympathy. A Hunter, food. A foe, a friend.

But, more. A smile is sometimes more than I will ever need. A wordless thank you. With a smile, I know I've done better. I know I've done good. I know I've helped.

With but a smile, swaying and dignified on the lips, I know I've done my duty.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

Diary Entry 1.

My name is Sarah Sanders. I come from a small island, just off of Calimshan. I am currently age twenty-eight. My son is named Az'dre 'Jared Johann' Ari'Ly, and I am a Druid.

This is a horrible idea, and if I keep up with it, I will be impressed.

        Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR

        Sarah Sanders       

[Wiki Editor's Note: Due to an in-game bug, some of the older player written notes had their dates reset to Day 8, Month 11 (Uktar), 139 AR. As a result, the exact dates for the records above are not known. However, we can determine from the names in these writings that the events took place around the 40's & 50's.]