View source for Vampirism: Philosophy on Undeath

There is no fanfare in this book's presentation. The title is printed plainly, in block letters, on the front. The author's name written underneath in an equal lack of exposition. 

The book is bound well, to last the ages, like most of its kind on the Island.

[all text in this book is written in plain ink, with a quill, in a script so consistent it could have been done by a machine. Blocked letters and perfect spacing admit a distinct lack of personality in the handwriting]

=== Introduction ===
By Anastasia Severyna
<br>AR 174

Nearly 10 years ago I was murdered by another Vampire. That Vampire was destroyed before I reanimated, and when I returned from death I did so untethered to a Master.

Without a Master to force their perspective upon me, to guide me as their so-called 'Spawn', I was left to my own devices and forced to learn like a child walking for the first time with only wolves as her guardian.

The first journal, Vampirism: On my Life of Death, explores the condition as it relates to my direct day-to-day existence. 

This is the second in my series on Vampirism, but in this volume I will write almost exclusively on the subject of Undeath in general and how it is perceived and vilified.

       Day 24, Month 5 (Mirtul), 174 AR
<br>       Anastasia        

=== On Those Who Evangelize Life ===
Druids and Holy Men declare the Undead as Unnatural. They say we do not belong, that we are outsiders, and that death must be a permanent state.

Why?

The reasoning is circular: Undead are Unnatural because they do not Belong, and Undead do not Belong because they are Unnatural. Never is it deeper. 

Most mages and scholars tend to agree that Life is either made up of Positive Energy or at least heavily influenced by it, and that Undeath shares the same relationship with its opposite: Negative Energy. This is supported very simply in the most basic magic we can all observe.

Therefore it is odd, to me, for a druid to dedicate themselves to the balance of elements in our universe; fire and water, earth and wind; yet belligerently refuse to acknowledge the opposing elements of the spirit. What kind of druid praises fire but condemns water? Conjures wind merely to spite the earth? 

I wonder what kind of druid, who claims to be in great favor of balance in all things, weighs the positive of disproportionate value to the negative.

Druids and Holy Men violently pontificate about the 'Cycle of Life,' but they themselves have yet to experience it; like listening to a daughter lecture a mother on the rigors of her own birth.

These people are blind, servile drones, to the real culprit in the enslavement of the final stages in the cycle of life: the Criminal Divine.

So it is that I conclude that the unquestioning paladin and the mindless ghoul are similar in more ways than they are not. Both parties are animated by the whims of their greater powers, neither are seeking to understand, but the greatest hypocrisy lies in the druid who has championed 'balance' yet favors his own self-interest in the energy of life.

       Day 24, Month 5 (Mirtul), 174 AR
<br>       Anastasia        

=== On Those Who Evangelize Undeath ===
It is not just the ignorance of the druid but that of the necromancer, or the seeker of eternity, that should receive equal scorn.

To dedicate one's entire profession to the study of Undeath, gripped by the envy of immortality, dogged in the desperate need for power, is a peak of hypocritical folly that only the druid can match in scale.

Everyone can agree that the dutiful craftsman is defined by the products in his field: the shine in the blade, balance between tip and hilt, and a keen edge. All agree that the craftsman is entitled to pride in his work. All agree that the dedication of a life to the mastery of craft is noble, and that to hold the final work in hand is the ultimate expression of one's well earned accomplishment.

Yet never has there been a master craftsman that venerated his hammer in spite of the product.

It is the contemptible necromancer that stands as the noble craftsman's opposite; the necromancer forges the splendor of the sword in mere pursuit of the tool that made it. The seeker of eternity wastes his life and his craft in the pursuit of devaluing himself: the craftsman's hammer will never be the elegant sword it can create. 

Therefore those that seek the continuity of existence through the engine of magic are missing the grandest point: that it was Life that granted them such desire to begin with, that it is Life they seek to continue unabated, and inside their success lies the consequence of failure - it is Life that is lost.

I have found that this lack of wisdom does not discriminate. Drow and human alike have told me, upon learning of my Condition, the harboring of their envy for what I have. To be young forever, to enjoy life's wonders for eternity, to be painless and powerful and unstoppable. Had I capacity to experience humor at a whim I would laugh in their face; such things cease to be relevant upon the turning of the wheel.

These are the delusions of those who evangelize Undeath.

       Day 24, Month 5 (Mirtul), 174 AR
<br>       Anastasia        

=== The Criminal Divine ===
Some may immediately wonder by what great bravery do I cast judgment upon all the Gods, for surely I will be punished for penning these words.

To that I ask: Does the man imprisoned for life fear the sentencing of further years?

The Criminal Divine urge their mindless servants to perform a grand paradox: to cast judgment in scorn of the evidence. 

The Divine, besides Lord Jergal who hath the wisdom to see all in equal measure, grant their devotees the power to both control Undeath and then condemn it within the same breath.

In life I prayed to Chantea for a good harvest, I praised Lathander for strength to my newborn son, I prayed to Mielikki for a true arrow to feed my family. Then, upon the happenstance of my murder, my declension unto undeath thereafter, they had the audacity to declare me beyond redemption as if I had conspired for both events. 

Even those who champion Undeath, such as Velsharoon, do so with the same reckless ignorance as do those who evangelize Undeath.

Why?

I cannot know for certain but with the evidence at hand there can be no other possibility: The Gods are Mortal.

They are little different than the Drow who scuffle and skirmish over the slightest trivial concern, who give voice of support in public but whisper abandon under breath, who change mind upon whim of the present with no respect for their mind of the past or the value of the future.

Even the Morninglord so mentioned, who hath the gall to claim champion of Life, abandons his devotees upon the very moment they cease to serve unto his own power.

These are not the traits of Gods. The Criminal Divine seek nothing but to harvest power from their slaves with mortality as their lash. It is little wonder, then, that they see my kind as the worst thing imaginable - for our very existence is denial to their petulant entitlement.

       Day 24, Month 5 (Mirtul), 174 AR
<br>       Anastasia        

=== Undead Kinship ===
Many people seem to think 'We' have a kinship, or a bond, because we share the very noticeable trait of being the living dead.

Do all living things feel a kinship or bond based on the fact they are simply alive?

What is the bond of the sheep and the shepherd?

What is the bond of the sheep and the wolf?

What is the bond of the wolf and the shepherd?

What is the bond of the wolf and the wolf?

The drow and their woodland brethren are both alive, they are both 'elves', but they share no bond other than hatred for one another. 

On the other hand I have seen all of Andunor's races come together when under threat to preserve the lives of all in the city, and the same is true when those who live above find great threats against them. In these cases their shared bond is indeed that they are living, and that they wish to continue living.

I have no intrinsic bond with neither ghoul nor ghost nor vampire. My kinship with the undead is no more relative a bond than that which the living find with themselves as according to their own needs or experience. I am the wolf to the shepherd, the wolf to the sheep, and the wolf to the wolf.

Should it come to pass that Andunor has a grand purge of all things Undead solely on the fact we are Undead then it would behoove me to find kinship with my kind for the purpose of galvanizing against destruction.

However with Andunor's history, that 'my kind' have often done little more than antagonize the populace on most occasions, it may be that forming a bond with other Undead based on the sole fact we are Undead could very well be a deciding factor in whether or not my kind are hunted to begin with. Therefore it seems imperative that I deliberately refrain from bonding with other Undead to preserve myself from destruction. 

So I conclude that the Dead share the same traits and purposes for Kinship as the Living, for I have just as many reasons to bond with Undeath as Life wishes to bond with Life.

       Day 24, Month 5 (Mirtul), 174 AR
<br>       Anastasia        

=== Alone ===
As the ink dries on all the former pages I am left wondering what it is I have decided, and find myself wanting for proper answer.

Chastised by life, indifferent to death, despised by the gods, and with all three to do so by virtue of what I am rather than the merit of who I am. What am I to conclude but that I walk this existence alone, sojourner on a circular path, seeking answers that may never surface.

It is a fortune for me that Undeath has granted a numbness in all things, for despair resides within but cannot find purchase upon my faculties which themselves are always fleeting and forever as ash in wind.

It is a path, however, and all paths must be walked lest they become overgrown and forgotten.

       Day 24, Month 5 (Mirtul), 174 AR
<br>       Anastasia        
[[Category:170-179 AR]]
[[Category:Journals & Diaries]]
[[Category:Undead]]